VIDEO: Spank Rock featuring Amanda Blank’s “Assassin”

His name is Spank Rock because it isn’t Squirt Rock, but with a lyric like “”show your clit, let me see you rub it”, clits may be squirting. Hold up though: do we want to see a dance that involves clit rubbing? Most likely no, as wicked as it may seem but maybe Squirt… I mean Spank Rock is on a mission to find out if women will finger themselves in an obsessive manner. The song “Assassin” features Amanda Blank, which makes me wonder if she had to reveal her clit to the Spank kid. Will we know? Most likely not.

VIDEO: Spank Rock’s “Baby”

When you hear the initial “baby” in this song, you’re thinking “okay, I know that’s a sample and I’ve heard it before, but I have no idea what it is.” Then you watch the video of a classroom of kids jamming to this and you almost forget that you inquired about the sample. Spank Rock knows the deal, and he also knows about the source of the baby in “Baby”.

VIDEO: WIN WIN featuring Spank Rock, Andrew W.K. & Matt Sweeney’s “Pop A Gumball”

Is their “music cinematic, psychedelic and dreamlike”? Which one is it, or can be be all? I speak of Win Win, and for this video… well, it seems someone noticed the model’s hard nipples in it first, and not the fact that Andrew W.K. is popping in and out of it, along with Spank Rock and Matt Sweeney.

So what is it: potential earworm, or hard nipples? Which one is it, or can it be both? Let it tingle in your mouth for a moment.

VIDEO: Spank Rock’s “DTF DADT”

Spank Rock – DTF DADT (Official Music Video) from Spank Rock on Vimeo.

According to the ancient scrolls, this video is meant to be a nonsense flashback to the days of early MTV, when artists and directors created imagery that often had nothing to do with the music, but it looked, felt, and seemed exciting. The video may be a flashback of sorts, but is very much fond of its place in history now and tentative futures. Nice, say Spank Rock.

SOME STUFFS: Spank Rock tour dates posted on this website, new album on the way

The name Spank Rock refers to what you do when you’re on the dance floor and squirt.

Okay, maybe not, but Spank Rock is an MC out of Baltimore but you knew that, you’re thinking “dammit John, just show me what you wrote in the subject line”, which is Spank Rock tour dates. Here you go, then.

07-30-11 Atlanta, GA Gwinnett Arena
07-31-11 Nashville, TN Nashville Municipal Auditorium
08-02-11 Spring, TX Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion
08-03-11 Cedar Park, TX Cedar Park Center
08-04-11 Dallas, TX Gexa Energy Pavilion
08-07-11 Miami, FL Bayfront Park Amphitheater
08-09-11 Raleigh, NC Raleigh Amphitheater
08-10-11 Charlotte, NC Road Runner Mobile
08-12-11 Uncasville, CT Mohegan Sun Arena
08-14-11 Toronto, ON The Molson Amphitheater
08-16-11 Boston, MA Bank Of America Pavilion
08-17-11 Philadelphia, PA Festival Pier
08-20-11 Wantagh, NY Nikon at Jones Beach Theater
08-21-11 Fairfax, VA Patriot Center
08-23-11 Indianapolis, IN The Lawn at White River State
08-24-11 Chicago, IL Charter one Pavilion
08-26-11 Clarkson, MI DTE Energy Music Theater
08-30-11 St. Paul, MN Roy Wilkins Auditorium
08-31-11 Council Bluffs, IA Mid-America Center
09-02-11 Kansas City, MO Starlight Theatre
09-03-11 Broomfield, CO 1st Bank Center
09-06-11 Calgary, AB Scotiabank Saddledome
09-07-11 Edmonton, AB Rexall Place
09-09-11 Vancouver, BC Rogers Arena
09-10-11 Seattle, WA WaMu Theatre at Qwest Field
09-11-11 Portland, OR Rose Garden Arena-TOTC
09-14-11 San Francisco, CA Bill Graham Civic Auditorium
09-16-11 Las Vegas, NV Planet Hollywood Resort
09-17-11 Universal City, CA Gibson Amphitheater
09-18-11 San Diego, CA SDSU Open Air Theatre
09-20-11 Phoenix, AZ Comerica Theatre

As summer wraps up, so does his tour and that will lead up to the release of his new album, Everything Is Boring and Everyone Is a Fucking Liar (Bad Blood), so start spanking.